Alright, listen up, you delusional dreamers. I’ve seen a lot of stupid ideas in my time, but this one takes the cake. You think you can just kick the bucket, fire up a Wefunder campaign, and expect your “friends” on social media to cough up the cash for your funeral? You think you’re that loved? You’re that important?
Let me tell you something about human nature: people are cheap. They’ll click a like, they’ll share a post, but when it comes time to pull out their wallets, suddenly they’ve got a “prior engagement” or a “sudden urge to donate to starving puppies instead.” They’ll tell you “it’s not personal” while clicking away to someone else’s feed.
So here you are, thinking you can just rely on the kindness of strangers to pay for your final send-off, and you expect that it will all be paid with virtual money? You think you’re going to die and then magically become a charity case? You’re not, you’re just going to be another burden.
The Fantasy of the Virtual Hat
Some folks genuinely believe their funeral costs will be handled by passing around a digital collection plate. They picture their online “friends” rushing in with open wallets, showering their memory with generosity like some kind of social media savior moment. And sure, in the rare event of something sudden and truly tragic, people might chip in. But here’s the thing—death isn’t exactly an unexpected guest. You’ve had, oh, say, five or six decades to see it coming. Spoiler alert: you’re mortal.
Why leave it to chance or the goodwill of others to cover the tab for your final send-off? Planning ahead isn’t just practical—it’s kind. At $10-20 a month, you can set aside enough to ensure that when the inevitable day arrives, it’s handled with dignity, not a crowdfunding campaign.
But hey, if you’d rather bet on hashtags and heartfelt comments paying the bill, that’s your call. Just don’t be surprised when the “likes” don’t translate into dollar signs.
The Reality: Funerals Are Expensive, Damn Expensive
Let’s talk about real numbers, not virtual likes. In the US, the average cost of a funeral is somewhere between $7,000 and $10,000. And that’s just for the basics. That’s not even factoring in the cost of a fancy casket, a church service, and a booze-fueled wake. If you want the full-fledged, send-off with all the bells and whistles, you could easily be looking at $50,000 or more.
Now, you might think that you’re different. You might think that your friends will be more generous, that your family will be more willing to spend money on your passing. But here’s the truth: When it comes time to pay the bill, everyone will suddenly look the other way. They’ll hem and haw, they’ll make excuses, and they’ll conveniently remember that they have to “pay off their credit card” or “fix the leaky faucet”. They will do anything possible to avoid paying your bill. It’s not personal, it’s just human nature. People are selfish, and death is expensive.
And don’t think you can get away with a “simple cremation” either. Even an immediate cremation, without any fanfare, will still set you back thousands of dollars, and you still need to have a plan. You need to make sure that your loved ones know your wishes, and that they know how to carry them out. You can’t rely on people to do the right thing, if you haven’t made it clear what the right thing is.
The Truth About Funeral Payers
Now, I’m not going to lie to you. There is one group of people who consistently pay funeral expenses, and they’re not your online buddies. They’re Mexican families. I heard this from a funeral director in Boise, Idaho, who told me that those folks show up with big bundles of cash, ready to pay the bill. They understand the importance of honoring their loved ones, and they don’t mess around with a virtual hat and a “hope for the best” strategy. They have an understanding of the reality of the situation, and they plan accordingly.
But you? You’re not a Mexican family with a bag full of cash. So, if you’re relying on your social media to pay for your funeral you’re either delusional or just plain stupid. Either way, it’s time for a dose of reality.
The Solution: Stop Begging, Start Planning
Here’s the bottom line: you need to stop relying on the kindness of strangers and start taking responsibility for your own send off. You need a plan, a real plan, not some fantasy about virtual donations. You need to protect your family, not leave them with a giant bill and a massive headache.
You need to do a lot of things, and you need to do it now. It’s time to get serious about your estate plan.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Get a Will: Make your wishes clear, and include specific instructions about how you want your funeral and your assets to be managed. Don’t leave your loved ones with a mess to clean up.
- Don’t rely on friends and family to be generous: Just because they are nice now, doesn’t mean they will be generous with their money once you are gone. Instead, take responsibility for your own final send off.
- Consider Pre-Planning: You can start planning and pre-paying for your funeral now, so that your loved ones will not have to take on the financial burden after your death. You can also be very specific about your wishes, and make sure that your send off is exactly how you want it to be.
- Get Insurance: Consider purchasing a life insurance policy that will cover funeral costs. This way, your loved ones are not left with a huge bill and will be able to grieve without the added burden of financial stress.
- Use Wills.com: Use our platform to create a will, document your wishes, and leave video instructions for your loved ones. With Wills.com, you can ensure that your send off is exactly how you want it to be, and you can also make it as easy as possible for those that you leave behind.
The Choice is Yours
You can continue to live in your online fantasy world, hoping that a virtual hat will pay for your send-off, or you can face reality and take responsibility for your own death. You can rely on the fleeting kindness of strangers, or you can protect your loved ones. You can be another burden, or you can be a person who is remembered with love and respect for taking the proper steps.
The choice is yours. But remember, death is a real thing, and it’s time to start preparing for it like an adult.